Do you celebrate International Men’s Day?
I must admit, before working closely with the Moving Ahead team on this Summit, I might have been on the 'roll-my-eyes’ side of this conversation - suggesting, in response, “Perhaps it’s been International Men’s Day for quite a few centuries now?” and wondering how celebrating it could possibly work towards inclusion and equity.
Having swallowed my words, I am now a proud International Men’s Day advocate; the first to leap up and suggest that issues such as vulnerable masculinity, men’s mental health, shared parental leave and positive male role models must be part of the solution, not just for men but for everyone.
As Iman Amrani, the journalist and host of the popular series Modern Masculinity says, “Real change only happens when we cross bridges into unfamiliar territory and share our ideas with people who don’t share our backgrounds.”
Listening to the speakers from Moving Ahead’s International Men’s Day Summit, it was clear that patriarchy, as it stands, doesn’t work for anyone. As the musician and creative catalyst, Jamie Catto, said: “From the moment you're born, you go into ‘somebody' training’” - as in, not leaving space for any of us to thrive within the strict boundaries of expectations.
Many of our speakers talked of the burnout and mental challenges experienced when people try to keep up with an unsustainable image of success. Barra Fitzgibbon, broadcaster and communication expert, spoke about his life changing experience of having Covid in the first wave. In his words, it was “person-centered, vulnerable an honest conversations” that helped him and his family out of that time.
Similarly, Alex Staniforth, adventurer and ultra-endurance athlete, reminds us that “We can’t out-run burnout. It will always catch up with us in the end”.
Thinking about inclusion more broadly, men do have a responsibility to recognise their privilege and power and to use it to drive much needed change in our world. As John Amaechi OBE, organisational psychologist, author and former NBA player, says “Inclusion is defined by the worst behaviour that YOU tolerate”. His powerful talk on the embodiment of inclusive behaviours hears him ask the audience, “To test me, test me in the hallway, test me on Zoom or Teams, test me in the queue to Pret. Test me and I will show you what I stand for.”
I think John and one of the other speakers Satish Kumar, philosopher, author and former monk, would have a lot to agree on, with Satish calling for “eco-leadership over ego-leadership”, defining strong leadership as humble leadership. Similarly, John’s call to managers shone the mirror back on them saying that “The presence of difference doesn’t necessarily mean the access to the brilliance of difference. That power is unlocked by inclusive cultures and inclusive cultures are down to you”.
All in all, it was deeply powerful summit. I am left thinking over Kay Rufai’s opening talk: as an artist and mental health researcher, he captivated us with his poetry and personal storytelling, encouraging the listener to “look at your everyday environment, the versions of masculinity you uphold, the versions of masculinity you acknowledge, and the versions of masculinity that you allow”.
If you’re inspired by what you’ve read, the good news is that your organisation can have access to these videos all year round. You can share the content internally, on awareness days or as part of an event, all counting towards CPD hours.
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written by Nici Harrison, Speaker and summit content lead