The power of the pronoun
She, her, they, him, ze — the humble pronoun is in the spotlight like never before, as gender identity and gender fluidity become increasingly mainstream conversations. So important is the use of the grammatical signifier of a person or third person now that it has even got its own awareness day — International Pronouns Day on today, October 20th, an event that seeks to ‘make respecting, sharing and educating about personal pronouns commonplace’.
So, for those still assuming their own pronouns, why is it so important not to assume anyone else’s? Referring to people by the pronouns they determine for themselves is a mark of respect and in many cases a validation of self and gender distinct from biological sex — and as such it’s a verbal minefield that particularly affects transgender, non-binary, gender-fluid and gender-nonconforming people.
The rise of personal pronouns, including those outside traditional options such as ze/zis/zir, has tracked alongside the increasing challenge to narrow gendered identities, particularly among Gen Z. By providing a way for people to take more control and feel more accurately represented in communication, the personal pronoun has become far more than a semantic device.
Marking out pronouns is ultimately a matter of personal choice — not doing so, for example, might indicate that your feel your sex and gender identity are aligned and you’re happy for people to infer from that. But for people navigating a more complex gender or non-gendered identity, it is a simple, yet powerful, courtesy to use their particular pronouns when requested, and most people will make these clear to you. Ultimately, it’s a request for you to respect their identity and not doing so is considered offensive, leading to people feeling alienated and excluded.
As a key part of building a diverse and inclusive culture and a safe space in which everyone can bring their whole self to work, pronoun discernment is important for businesses and their employees to get right. For those who want to increase their signposting, one of the simplest ways is to add your pronouns to email signatures, or other office communications such as name tags, project covers or voicemail messages. In this way, there is no ambiguity as to how you would like to be addressed, taking the stress levels down for others in return too as they try to get it right. In conversation, it’s increasingly acceptable to say what your pronouns are when introducing yourself, and if you are in doubt of the other person’s then you can and should ask.
Finally, using gender-inclusive language does not stop at the pronoun; it is also crucial to make sure that wider use of gender does not preclude a more inclusive culture – in that way, you’re not ‘manning’ something but staffing it, there are broader ways to introduce something than with ‘ladies and gentlemen’ and saying ‘you guys’ to any group is likely to completely miss the mark…unless you know for sure, of course, that everyone’s pronouns are he/him/his.
Written by Liz Dimmock, CEO and Founder of Moving Ahead